It has been a whole decade since I first jumped onto a plane to the UK in January 2014. Since then, I have tackled two working holiday visas, bounced around from country to country for months at a time, and booked more last-minute flights than I can count (impulse control is not my strong suit).

Travel is a privilege, and a huge part of my life. But what about homesickness and the decision-making it takes to decide: “should I stay or should I go now?” ♪♫

I had just turned 19 the week before I packed up my life and moved out of home for the first time. I did not half-ass it, as I was London bound with a 2-year visa stamped into my passport. I was excited and accepting of the facts: I knew in order to have this experience, I needed to leave my mum and dad, my family home, my three younger siblings, and my high school friends who made up much of my world.

I was ready to embrace independence, but also terrified of being homesick. It was all so brand new – I was so worried about failing, about coming home prematurely. Luckily, I had my best friend by my side, ready to leap into this adventure with me. From the moment we landed abroad, we were too busy making adult decisions, indulging in new experiences and HAVING FUN to think too much about Australia. We were surprised and empowered by our capacity to adapt and exist in a new way.

This was the start of my travel journey, and over the years, I have left and come back more times than I can count.

When you want to come home:

Home starts calling when life throws a party – birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. The problem? There will always be something happening and FOMO hits harder on the opposite side of the globe. It sucks to feel forgotten or excluded, even when you are doing something you want to do.

Long-term travel often leads to depleted savings and an inconsistent lifestyle. Watching friends advance in careers, get married, buy houses and settle down can be confronting and make you question your life choices. I found myself in the comparison trap, wondering how I would ever ‘catch up’. Homesickness became less of a burden, when I stopped comparing.

The joy of travel is being in a random bar, in a random place, chatting away to a random human being about your life at home. Meeting someone new means being asked about your experiences, your life and your origin country. In a way, talking about home can be both triggering and comforting. I have always enjoyed learning about others and reflecting on the differences and similarities that can and do exist.

Generally, I am more inclined to feel homesick on shorter trips – especially when I have somewhat stable housing (renting, who has the money to own in this economy?) or a job to return to. During longer trips, I find I’m more mentally prepared and typically armed with a checklist of adventures to tick off, which makes homesickness easier to cope with or fend off.

When you want to leave home:

Then there’s the inevitable moment when your holiday ends, your visa expires, or you get a call from home that makes you drop everything and make a new plan. Nothing prepares you for the adjustment period of returning home after living and working abroad. On the one hand, you’re thrilled to see friends and family. On the other, you are returning to a life that feels frozen in time.

Starting again is the hard part and brings out all the questions – where do I live, what do I do, what happens now? Something I constantly struggle with is the desire to settle down and chill the fuck out vs. the urge to pack up and leave again. Am I missing out by staying put or am I missing out by leaving? It is a classic case of “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. I am sure a lot of other travellers relate to this.

To combat travel-induced identity crisis, I’ve found creating a sense of balance is key. To make the ‘boring parts’ of life more bearable, I schedule in quality time with friends and family – for me, the joy of being home, is being near to those you love. Also, keeping the adventure alive is essential. Having a flight booked, or a future travel goal, or a girls trip, or a day at the beach can help fill your cup and keep your head happy.